The Unfortunate Incident of the Mr Whippy

Hey Sweeties,

To be honest this wasn’t going to be something I blogged about but… I think not to acknowledge this recent ‘incident’ would be a missed opportunity and something I may later need to draw upon in the future by which I mean touching upon anxiety. I am very conscious that this is an issue that tons of people are discussing and I would hate to appear like I am jumping on the bandwagon for the sake of joining in on something topical. But then again on the other end of the spectrum, it’s good to know I am not alone and that what I am currently experiencing isn’t abnormal (far from it), and for you guys you can see how something like anxiety takes on many different forms with many different people in as many different situations.

So, let me explain the unfortunate incident of the Mr Whippy.

Icecream cone -melting

Last Friday it was the annual Hartley Wintney vs. Hampshire twenty-twenty match on the green and although Ian and I have now moved away from the area, we’re unlikely to not continue to go to this each year while we can.

Anyway.

We’re a couple of hours into the afternoon, the game is in full swing and Ian asks if I fancy an ice cream. To be honest I was prepared to wait another hour or so but if he was going to get one himself as well, then why not! A few minutes later he returns with one giant Mr Whippy (because for an extra 50p you could get an extra scoop –fair play). The additional factor I forgot to mention was that it was a hot afternoon but for some reason no sooner was the ice cream purchased, it began melting so by the time it got to me it was a dribbling mess.

*Let me just interrupt proceedings here and quickly highlight that what was to follow was by no means responsible of Ian, it was just an unfortunate outcome to what was otherwise a very innocent and well-intended situation and he knows this*

So why this became an unfortunate incident is because I went from happy and content (watching the cricket) to stressed, embarrassed and anxious instantly. Why? Because if it was just Ian and I it would have been ok but it wasn’t, we had a couple of acquaintances with us who (as anyone would) were laughing. If Ian had got an ice cream as well and it was also melting, then the situation would have been funny and shared. If the ice cream wasn’t a double scoop, then I wouldn’t be sat there noted for eating a big ice cream and wouldn’t have had to have dealt with the scale of melting that was happening. When you have something like an ice cream, or anything that you don’t have very often (if at all), you want to enjoy the experience and savour it, not have to rush it owing to things out of your control. The situation became quickly embarrassing for me which made me anxious as I had too much attention for the wrong reasons. Also, like thousands of other people, particularly women, I hate attention drawn to me when it concerns food. If people are commenting on something amazing I have ordered that’s fine. But if it’s because the portion is too big (or bigger than average) then that’s not good and it stresses me out quite understandably. So I am sat on the edge of the green trying to quickly devour a double Mr Whippy while it furiously melts and being laughed at… then I am afraid it was one drip too many and I threw the rest of the cone into an empty plastic beer cup and walked away, refusing the offer of tissues. Fortunately there was a pub just opposite so I headed there to wash my hands and get away from the situation but I was upset, I needed to get away and calm myself down and I went for a quick walk around the block afterwards before heading back but even when I sat back down I had to keep my sunglasses on to cover my tears. Silly isn’t it?

On reflection I can now see the funny side but I can also see how badly I am reacting to certain situations and environments right now. I say right now because I have only recently become really aware of it, I have always suffered with a bit of insecurity but on the whole I would say I am (was) a confident individual who actually quite enjoys my own company but lately not so. I find myself feeling nervous, mostly when I realise I am quite exposed and by exposed that could be me just walking to Asda and back on my own. I like anonymity; I like running my errands and having a coffee in Costa with a good book unnoticed and for the most part I am never disturbed or even seen by someone I might know. But sometimes, depending on where I am, the thought of being randomly pounced on gets the better of me and this can apply even to the phone. I hate unplanned conversation which sounds totally bizarre and to be honest it’s stupid but it’s how it is. If my Mum calls me out of the blue, absolutely fine but if someone says to me, “I’ll call you later” that freaks me out and puts me in a panic as no matter who it is, I worry about the conversation and struggling for things to say. How often though do I struggle for things to say, like really? I don’t.

So do I suffer with anxiety? I guess I do, but like I said earlier, anxiety affects many different people in many different ways for as many different reasons so although I don’t get panic attacks (yet), this condition still feels quite debilitating and something I have to learn to deal with and get over.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this and your own experiences so please do share them.

Until next time x

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Anxiety & the Importance of Friendship

Hey Sweeties,

2014-03-09 13.52.44Apologies I haven’t posted for a couple of weeks, I’ve been incredibly consumed with houses, work and just life really. But the sun is out, spring is here and I’ve just come back from a lovely long walk and ready to blog! Here goes…

So, what’s new? Well… house wise, we thought we found our dream house and over a period of 2.5 weeks we put down an offer, then upped it, and upped it and upped it again to at the last hour get rejected. Nothing more heart breaking! Then, we found another house a couple of days ago and we’ve placed an offer and hopefully we’ll find out the outcome tomorrow, fingers crossed sweeties! I have plans to dedicate a whole post to buying houses so I’ll leave all the juicy details for then 🙂

Spring is here!

Spring is here!

Aside from the anxiety of knowing I have to relocate in a couple of months which for me really is a big deal, February marked 7 years since flying the comfy nest of my family home and going it alone and since then I have moved somewhere completely different every 2 ish years -London, Leeds, Bath, North Hampshire (where I am now) and true to form, I’ll have been here 2 years in May but will be off somewhere else come then… at the moment it looks like Slough! Anyone been or already live there? Advice? So yeah, aside from this moving anxiety, two great things have happened this year, one happened right at the beginning and the second one happened yesterday…

My Best Friend is getting married in 2015 (uber exciting!!) and just after Christmas (I think?) she asked me the most amazing thing a best friend could be asked… would I be Maid of Honour? Of course I would!! Prior to this I offered and commited to designing her Save the Date and wedding invites, partly as my contribution to the wedding (pre Maid of Honour) and partly so that I am building experience and my portfolio in design work (why not eh?). I can’t wait to help her create and bring to life her dream wedding and be right be her side at the alter as she becomes a married woman (wow, that actually sounds scary when you say it out loud!).

The second incredibly exciting thing is that another very close friend of mine who is otherwise affectionately known as ‘Wifey’, had an utterly gorgeous baby boy last summer. I have had a few friends give birth to bundles of joy in the last couple of years but (without offending the others) Wifey’s little boy is an amazing baby, he’s just so happy and cuddly and brilliant! So, quite out of the blue yesterday afternoon Wifey called me up and was like, “would you (me) be God Mother?” AHHHHHHHH, couldn’t be more honoured and I can’t believe that I have been so blessed with this responsibility! *Wipes away happy tear* Bring on the Christening and a lifetime of watching this little baby turn into a young man and beyond and being there to support him all the way!

One big thing that has really suffered or rather, I have had to sacrifice as part of moving around (did I mention pre flying the nest I had attended 4 Primary schools, 1 Secondary and lived in 6 houses across a variety of locations in the UK?!) is that I have made friends and then upped and left them time and time again. I am incredibly fortunate in that I have a small handful of very valued friendships but none of them know each other, and none of them live near me. This of course opens opportunity for fun days out and trips with each of them when we catch up but a quick drink down the pub or a nice dinner one evening is a no no which I desperately miss. It’s this lack of socialisation that brings me down some of the time as like I have said previously in an earlier post, Ian is great and the phone is always there but it’s not the same as regular face to face conversation. So, despite all this, to be in a position as I am today where I am Maid of Honour and a new God Mother is a tremendous feeling of love and emotion. It actually just shows that you don’t have to be living next door to your friends for them to still consider you so highly as to involve you so intimately with very important areas of their lives. I really do truly feel blessed.

Until next time, Sweeties xx

Friends forever

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