Feminist and Married : Why Can’t Women be Feminist, Married & Share Their Husband’s Name?

Hey Sweeties,

I have some outrageous breaking news for you all today that frankly, might even Blow. Your. Minds. Are you ready? Okay, so you can be a feminist AND married. Oh. My. God! I know Sweeties, I know, this revelation will be news to many.

I thought it was something I should address on here because I have spoken about many things that are both feminist in topic, and from a feminist perspective and having been married for almost a year now, I did not want people still stuck in the dark ages to start accusing me of fraud. Nevertheless, yes my Sweeties, you can indeed be a feminist and married.

Feminist and married

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Why What Women Wear IS an Issue | Sunday Chat

Hey Sweeties,

One of the things I most love about this blog, and my writing in many ways, is how I don’t fear or attempt to dodge topics of conversation that might be on the controversial side. I freely talk about anything and everything under beauty, fashion and lifestyle but my Girl Talk section on this blog is my favourite. Here I can talk more in depth about things personal to me, such as my struggles with (social) anxiety, but also on things like why I hate girl squads and other such things that come into the media and popular culture. I like creating conversation, I like sharing my opinion. So today I have an opinion on something that is either going to have a lot of you explode at me in disagreement, or actually, you’ll agree with me and I of course hope it’s the latter.

What women wear is an issue. 

First of all to clarify for the record: A woman can wear anything she likes; what someone wears does not define them; and when I say (or suggest, or reference) ‘unwanted attention’ or, ‘the wrong kind of attention’ I am 100% absolutely categorically not talking about rape; I am talking about being in a bar or a club, or maybe even walking down the street, and a young woman is getting pestered, or wolf whistled by a couple of blokes because quite possibly (but not definitely), what she is wearing is getting them all in a fluster.

For the most part this unwanted behaviour is completely harmless and a sharp “fuck off” usually does the trick, but sometimes it doesn’t but that’s a man’s issue, not the woman’s. Okay?

However my argument here and the underlying truth is that (young) women still need to be careful or at least mindful, with their appearance in public, particularly when out on the town, and I think the fashion houses curating young women’s fashion need to look at the items they are creating, and the looks they are encouraging. Remember this is the opinion of an almost thirty year-old.

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Celebrity Deaths and Why We Mourn Them | Sunday Chat

Hey Sweeties,

2016 was bad year for celebrity deaths, and I mean, significant celebrity deaths and when we thought we were in the clear, we lost George Michael and Carrie Fisher just before 2017 dawned; really quite shit. For me, in 2016 my devastation started when I saw the news break on Twitter about Alan Rickman, he was my total older man crush and today he has been gone 366 days yet it still feels fresh, as though it was yesterday. I was also very sad about Victoria Wood, and I surprised myself by how upset I was about Caroline Aherne; 52 is no age to go. For all the celebrity deaths last year, every loss was a loss.

So why are we upset about celebrity deaths, people dying that we do not even know? Well, I am not a psychologist so I have no scientific explanation, so I can only talk from an emotional one based on my own experience.

Celebrity Deaths

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Squad Goals & Why I don’t want to be in your Gang

Hey Sweeties,

I don’t think it’s just me to notice, but the media in 2016 was obsessed with inventing a million new buzz words that suddenly, and quite unconsciously, entered our everyday vocabulary. This also applies to trends and today I want to address this whole (girl) #squad bollocks that mostly seemed to attach itself to Taylor Swift and the like.

Taylor Swift alone I could write a whole blog post on. I love her music and while she is absolutely totally free to date and shag who she likes (21st Century 4th wave feminism n’all), the other half of me just thinks she shouldn’t flaunt it quite so much (because I’m married and nearly thirty which seems to have had an effect on how I  view certain behaviour).

Anyway.

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Where did the Spontaneity in Music Disappear to? | Sunday Chat

Hey Sweeties,

Can it be said that certain things in life have lost their spontaneity? Some things (by which I mean of the music kind specifically) have become so in demand that to stand any chance of getting that lucrative ticket you have to set alarms and be poised at your PC/iPad/mobile/other device to hit refresh on repeat at 9am months before said event takes place. Who likes to plan that far ahead these days? In truth no one but it seems to be the norm now.

To be honest, I’ve only recently witnessed this myself as a couple of weeks ago I happened to over hear that the Stone Roses were doing three shows next year with tickets going on sale that Friday morning. Knowing competition was going to be ridiculous, particularly as I read that the last time Stone Roses tickets went on sale they got sold in a speedy 10 seconds flat! Therefore, on that Friday morning my husband and I had all our devices at the ready and by some miracle, we got tickets! I’ve now adopted this as the norm, even for what I perceive to be less in demand gigs, I’m still at my PC for 9am frantically refreshing the page until I am successful.

I have never to been to Glastonbury Festival and I am unlikely ever to, 1. Because it’s so expensive and 2. while I don’t dislike camping, that kind of place would leave me too anxious to sleep or even be comfortable sitting at my tent, and that’s not even taking into consideration the enormous crowds. But some years ago when I was in my mid-teens, it was somewhere I always thought I would go. According to my husband, buying tickets for the main summer festivals back then was as simple as working out what you wanted to see a month or maybe even a few weeks so in advance, and then going down to your local HMV to purchase tickets. Now it’s pre-registration and that whole 9am, multiple devices and teams of friends and family kind of scenario, with the many thousands of tickets available selling out in mere minutes; it’s just too crazy for words.

Sum 41 and music spontaneity

God love disposable cameras back in the day! Here is a photo I took of Deryck Whibley/Sum 41 back in February 2003!

With this lack of spontaneity in life now, aside from having to be totally on it to stand any chance of going to these events, it’s also the added pressure to enjoy yourself when you get there. Once upon a time when I lived at home in Plymouth, I went to see most of the bands that came down to the Pavilions to perform because it was affordable and I was one of those people that took the opportunity to see multiple bands, even if I wasn’t a huge fan or that familiar with them. Sophie Ellis-Bexter, Sum 41, The Flaming Lips, Chris De Burgh, Lemar, Blondie, Stereophonics, Athlete, Travis, and Keane to name just a few of my favourites/what I can remember at the time of writing. Music for teenagers is such an important thing and for me, it’s how I identified myself and so often what I clung to; ages ago I wrote about my love for Avril Lavigne (here) as she particularly was someone I strongly gravitated to, and in many ways I still do. But with such a competitive edge for tickets now, how can teenagers, or anyone really, have that freedom to find themselves in music outside of the confines of ITunes and Spotify? I worry for my future children because I wonder if they will be able to enjoy that live gig experience I grew up with, and the pressure as a parent to get your children to see their favourite artists and bands –I mean we’ve all seen the videos on YouTube of teens going into meltdown on Christmas Day when they find Justin Bieber tickets in their stocking, ha!

What do you guys think? Has music lost its spontaneity?

Until next time x

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