My Problem with Seeing your Children Online

Hey Sweeties,

I don’t know about you, but I am really uneasy with seeing pictures of children across my social media feeds (Facebook, Twitter and Instagram mostly), and even within blogs to be honest. While Facebook arguably is a public space shared between ‘friends’, liked posts can still appear in feeds of people you don’t know because they are loosely acquainted with one of your friends. But still, as much as I love seeing baby photos, you’re putting your kids on the internet and I think people (parents) should start being a bit more cautious. Look, we all get those urges to share that ridiculously cute snap of our children or our friends’ children, but we need to take a step back and think about what we’re doing.

Children online

My Problem with seeing your Children online

The internet became dangerous when paedophiles learnt how to access images, and while that is of course a concern deeply rooted at the base of this post and my worries, I think I am still allowed to feel uneasy without addressing that particular fear. Having children of my own is the next step for Ian and I and we have already agreed, that while it’s fun to share photos announcing new arrivals, our children will not be shared online. A snippet of their cute little hands or feet, fine but faces, no. Fundamentally, it comes down to however much you think you have put those privacy settings in place, you can’t ever properly be sure of who is accessing those images and videos of your children.  View Full Post

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Celebrity Marriages & Why I Despair | Sunday Chat

Celebrity Marriages and why I despair

Unfortunately Sweeties, during the writing process for this particular post, another celebrity marriage bit the dust, and while I’m not wholly surprised, I am still disappointed to learn that Millie Mackintosh and Professor Green aka. Stephen Manderson, have filed for divorce. It just reaffirmed that I despair with celebrity marriages (and gave me fuel to get this post done).

Also at the time of writing, I am merely weeks away from walking down the aisle myself and I wouldn’t be doing so if I didn’t think marriage was something to be taken seriously. I actually approach it in the same way as I did when I first agreed to move in with Ian, I said at the time that I wouldn’t be moving in to move out again and it’s the same with marriage, I am not getting married and making such a commitment if I feel we’ll get divorced down the line. Of course, no one can predict what happens in life and sometimes things happen that can but only blow couples apart. However, marriage is not there to be thought of as something that can be easily got out of should things sour.

I think not long ago, particularly in the height of popularity for Don’t Tell the Bride, weddings became very fashionable and people got too caught up in planning for a wedding than they were preparing for marriage. This fundamentally was why I often rejected the couples that got onto the show having only been together barely a year, against couples that had been together for years and were struggling to finance a wedding. I also am always a little bit worried for couples that spend years planning their wedding, I know many will have their own personal reasons for this such as finishing a degree or something, but a wedding so easily takes over and to plan for something that eventually only lasts about 12 hours rule your life for 12 months or more is a bit worrying. What do you talk about once the high has died?

The big day aside though, marriage is a commitment made by two people to love, support and be together “until death do us part.” That should mean something. And while I can’t talk from personal experience, divorces are terribly traumatic times for those involved, both financially and emotionally. So you can understand my despair at why celebrities make marriage such a throw away thing. While I don’t doubt that they also go through huge financial and emotional loss, it’s on a different scale to the rest of us, fundamentally because they have teams of people that can handle it all for them and all the celebrity does is just sign the document at the end. Ok, I’m being unfair, I am. But do you see where I am coming from? My issue is that I don’t get the impression that some celebrities really work at their marriage, I know their circumstances are different, but the vows are still the same, celebrity or not, you still agree to the same things and that is you are committing to share a life with someone until one or both of you dies. Getting divorced after two years of marriage is hardly trying is it? And don’t even get me started on that circus of a Kardashian wedding that resulted in just 72 days of marriage!

Too many celebrities get married too quickly, it’s like they’re not allowed to be together without getting married within a few months of meeting. We’ve all seen it, a new couple get together and within weeks all the press are spreading engagement rumours, that or it’s the couple themselves and I’m afraid you have to just see through it for the PR stunt that it is. This is why some people (us normal folk that is) feel they have to have big expensive weddings because they try and compete with the big glossy images pictured in the press.

So if like me, you’re getting married in the not too distant future, take a step back for a moment and ask yourself why –is it for the fun and glitz of a wedding, or is it because you’re making the ultimate commitment to someone who you are willing to spend the rest of your life with? Or, maybe you’re getting ridiculously stressed about your big day, spending ages over colour schemes, napkins and centre pieces. Take a moment and ask yourself, does it really matter? All the wedding publications constantly bang on about ‘wowing your guests’ but really, will your guests even notice? They’re there to support you, and share in your celebrations as you kick start a brand new chapter of your life.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Until next time x

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You Can’t Define Feminism (as an Emoji)

Feminism as an emoji

Hey Sweeties,

Until I went to University, my awareness and knowledge of feminism was quite limited, I was only really aware of the suffragettes and the whole bra burning thing. So it wasn’t until I was 22-23 years old and studying for my degree that I learnt that feminism transformed (& dare I say progressed) in waves. But regular readers will be very well versed in my views and ideas on feminism and the movement we’re currently experiencing so I won’t repeat myself.

I have also touched upon my (male) colleagues at work who wind me up endlessly on things re feminism and their favourite topic is Caitlyn Jenner (here). However, while I participate in endless banter, despite my concerns that they assumed feminists to be one thing, they do acknowledge that feminism has moved on but to define it, or a feminist specifically, is hard.

In a separate discussion, one of my colleagues asked if I use emoji’s in blog posts and I said I didn’t –both in this one (except the occasional smiley face) and the blog I manage at work. Somehow he then asked me what emoji I would use for feminism and I said (again) that you can’t define feminism (& feminists) as one thing, hence how the idea for this post was sparked. And you can’t, can you? Feminism cannot be defined in any one emoji I have yet seen –now there’s a challenge if there ever was one!

Emoji’s aside, but keeping on the topic of the F-word, a week or two ago I read an article about how if women use the term ‘lovely’ and put x at the end of emails, we’re questioning our loyalty to feminism which is OUTRAGEOUS; language does not determine how feminist you are! I call you all ‘Sweeties’ within my posts, does that make me less of a feminist? Do I offend you all? Do you think less of me? I also sign off my posts with an ‘x’…again, does that change things and make you reinterpret what I say? For the record, I use ‘sweeties’ & sign off with a ‘x’ because I see it as a friendly kind of affection that I can easily spread and without knowing most of you on a personal level, I still want to talk to you with the same warmth as I would my closest friends. So we’re cool, right?

Anyway, some more food for thought and I would love to hear your opinions on the above; maybe you even have the ultimate feminist emoji?

Have a great week, lovelies 😉

Until next time x

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Two Very Different Role Models Growing Up

Hey Sweeties,

I was thinking recently about role models and got to thinking about who inspired me most in my mid-late teens into my early twenties… and they couldn’t be any more different to each other.

Carrie Bradshaw 

Role Models -Carrie Bradshaw

I took two things from Carrie 1. the want to become a writer, 2. a love for high heeled shoes.  View Full Post

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A Worrying Disney Princess Obsession

Disney princesses

Hey Sweeties,

A few thoughts for you today on my feelings about how I am slightly weary of Disney Princesses and how they seem to be inflicting a certain kind of ideology…  View Full Post

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