How to find the Positives in the Everyday

Seeing the positives

Hey Sweeties,

Following from last week’s Sunday post, I thought I would perk things up a bit about how you can help yourself to see the positives.

For me, particularly several years ago when I was going through a pretty bad phase of depression, the worst thing people could –and some did- say to me is to ‘cheer up and remember that there are always people in a worst situation than you are’. This for the record, helps nobody saying that, nobody. I appreciate it is difficult for those who don’t understand to not get how some people can be low, almost for no real reason but sometimes that is just the case. Sometimes you are just sad.

Although it was an expensive solution, as you know from last week’s Sunday Chat the way I found to help myself out of feeling a bit rubbish was to book myself onto a Trek America tour next year; it gives me something to look forward to and a focus although I have sacrificed getting a new car in the process, hey ho! I may finish the trip with no lifelong friendships taken from it but I’ll have still spent two weeks travelling up the west coast of the USA with a totally new group of people to share the experience with which for me at least, I will never forget.

For quicker, less expensive perks, I couldn’t be more of an advocate about finding positives in the every day (bear with me). For example; the sky is blue today. Someone smiled at me. I heard something funny on the radio… you get the idea. Mostly I think it is visual triggers, things that you see that provide a moment of happiness or at least, make you smile. Last year on the short drive to work I would pass a bit of a clearing on the side of the road and most days –not every day- I would see some rabbits. I used to love this. It sounds silly but honestly, once you have trained your brain to see these things and you can appreciate how something so minor can be viewed as something positive you’ll be fine, even if it makes you forget for only a few minutes… it still worked.

For times though when feeling unhappy isn’t the problem, you’re just in moments of incredible stress and anxiety, another good exercise that is great that can apply to absolutely everyone and for a variety of situations, particularly when you know something is coming up (like an interview) where you’re nervous and becoming a little overwhelmed by it all is to break it/the day up into units. I heard about this exercise years ago and once you’ve got it, it can be used and applied to so many things. But let’s take an interview for the example. So, let’s pretend the interview is in London and you live outside of the city and will be getting the train in.

Unit 1: Getting ready -showered, changed, make-up etc.

Unit 2: Going to the station

Unit 3: On the train

Unit 4: In London, getting the tube(s) to the location

Unit 5: At the location, sat waiting to go into your interview

Unit 6: Interview time

Unit 7: You’re done! Now you can head home.

Usually my units would only go as far as the thing I was nervous about but of course you can keep them going for as long as you need.

The purpose of the above is to break the day into bite size chunks and as you complete each unit, you’re nearer the end than you were at the start of the process and they can be interpreted as mini achievements. Also, by the time you’ve got to unit 6/the main element you were nervous about, you’re more than half way through the day and the finish is in sight. It also helps focus the brain on the next stage rather than trying to take in and cope with the situation/day as a whole.

I apologise if you find these posts a little silly but I hope you can see the point in why I have written them and can actually see that for some, they may be seen as beneficial and for me certainly all of the above helps me and continues to do so.

(For those despairing): Today I have been out and done a little (but expensive) beauty haul so you can look forward to that post later this week along with another beauty review as well as a post commenting on something a little different… I am also soon attending another Elle Inside event so lots of fun things coming up on here over the next couple of weeks!

Hope you guys had a great weekend!

Until next time x

 

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