Ambitions – Clairey Sweetie

Hey Sweeties,

So here we are, the eve of a brand new year and the hours remaining of 2014 are on the count down to midnight and soon gone. I always feel weird on New Years Eve, I feel excited and looking forward to a brand new year of aspirations and goals, but equally I come over in a mild panic and desperately try to cling onto the year almost gone; I’m not ready to let go. But I don’t have the choice here, the new year is coming regardless.

The biggest most significant thing of 2014 is buying my first house with the man I will eventually marry (when he asks me). We have formally entered that new era and early chapters of binding our life together and owning our own bricks and mortar is a pretty big deal. I am excited for all the memories, moments and things we will experience here going forward.

This year I also got my arse in gear and completed the X-Runner Water Wipeout challenge raising £125.00 for Yateley Hockey Club. I also trekked the Yorkshire 3 Peaks raising £215.00 for The British Heart Foundation and I intend to continue keeping myself fit and active going forward.

Looking ahead-

A question mark hovers on top of my career as to my next move; I am yet to find a role that I can grow and develop within without having to either promote myself out of it or move somewhere new to climb to that next level. Hopefully this next new step is within the company I am currently with as I love it there but if I can’t develop there then I will have to explore other avenues and opportunities elsewhere. Developing myself professionally is and will be at the top of my list of goals and resolutions for a while yet to come.

Speaking of development, I am a mere 2-3 assignments away from completing my Diploma in Copywriting. I want to be a writer but I don’t want to be in a position yet where I am just churning out content for the sake of it. I get a lot of pleasure from my blog and for now that satisfies my writing desires so for my day job I am actually open minded and keen to do something that is a little bit different. Wait and see but definitely in time, becoming a writer is my long term ambition.

In the blogging world I feel I have found my rhythm and next year I want to expand and reach new platforms and audiences. I also want to become more embedded in the blogging community so I’ll be on the look out for blogger meet ups and events to join in on. I have achieved over 100 followers in this blog’s first year, can I make it to 500 before the next year is out?

In June I am going to be Maid of Honour to my best friend at her wedding and between now and then we have a lot to organise and a weekend to give her the send off into married life she deserves. More on this in due course!

In October I have the adventure of a lifetime; Trek America! I will be joining a totally new group of people I hope will become friends in a journey beginning and finishing in LA, taking us up the west coast and back. I can’t wait!

Other things planned to look forward to are S Club 7 reunion tour in May (oh yes, Sweeties!), Euro 2015 Hockey Championships in August, the Ashes, my 28th birthday… and no doubt many things will crop up and add themselves into what I hope to be a great 2015.

Happy New Year everyone!

Until next time x

Hey Sweeties,

I want to tell you something really exciting that I did this weekend but first I need to provide you with some context to it so please read what I have to say and then hopefully join me in being really excited too!

Here goes.

Without deliberately jumping on the same bandwagon that it seems we’re all on, I have spoken about my experience with anxiety because it’s important you know me beyond what I wear on the outside, and also it’s because sufferers should hold their hands up and reveal how common something like anxiety and mental health is. The Incident of the Mr Whippy told you how certain -completely random- situations spark an overwhelming sense of vulnerability and exposure in me and I panic. I am also an over thinker and stress about things that haven’t even happened yet. I seem to overload myself with worry and this stress which unsurprisingly after a while breaks me and I find myself in tears, sometimes for the most trivial things.

The real thing I suffer with though, is depression. Not all the time and until recently I thought it was very much in the past but it never is only in the past. Mental health doesn’t just go away, instead it lingers under the surface, remaining dormant and poised ready to take hold when you weaken. The trick is to be able to know when you’re slipping and take measures to catch yourself from falling before you hit the ground.

So,

With all of the above in mind, lately I haven’t been feeling myself at all. I have become somewhat nervous in my person, I am having some stresses about work, about aspects of the future and I’ll be honest with you guys, also a battle with loneliness; this isn’t who I used to be. As you get older, once you’ve left school and University, meeting people and making friends is a real challenge, it doesn’t come easy. As I am sure I have mentioned before (?) I have moved twelve times and I attended five schools (4 primary, 1 secondary) therefore I have known no one my whole life. When I make friends I have ended up moving away. Until 2007 that was the fault of my parents, since then it has been my own doing. In finding out who I want to be and what I want to do, I have upped sticks and moved to new locations and jobs to find what it is I am looking for. So it should come as no surprise that my career is everything to me and being and becoming successful is crucial otherwise I would feel as though I sacrificed for nothing.

When I was surrounded by people, I adored my independence and the ability to go off and do things on my own. Now, except for when I am with Ian, I have no choice but to be on my own most of the time. Fortunately I don’t mind my own company and of course I do have several friends that have clung on while I have done my thing and when possible I go and visit them. But something is missing; in me and in my life.

So I did something quite exciting this weekend.

Yes Sweeties, I booked myself a trip with Trek America

I am now broke for the foreseeable future as it’s going to take a real commitment to save for but importantly, it gives me something to look forward to and in doing that, will keep myself afloat if you catch my drift. Next October I am flying out to LA and spending two weeks travelling up and back the west coast taking in places such as Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, Yosemite National Park and San Francisco to name just a few.

I. Can’t. Wait!

So why Trek America? Because I need to remember the person I used to be. I used to be so willingly independent and fearless. I also feel that I haven’t really had that travelling experience that I think everyone should have. I am also a couple of years away from properly committing myself to Ian and I think before that happens, I need to go and do something like this. Something on my own. Something with a totally new group of people that I have never met and share something totally unforgettable.

So guys, when I post about beauty and skincare a lot of you flock to those posts in your ‘likes’ which is great but you disappear somewhat when I post about other things (like this)… or you’re there, but you don’t let me know you’ve been. The blogging community should be about showing your support when it matters, not only when someone does a little haul purchasing the same things that so many others have. There are products out there that last all day and we applaud them, but what about those things that ingrain on someone a lifetime? No one is quick to applaud then. No one ‘likes’ depression or anxiety and so many I feel keep their blogs happy and fun places which they absolutely should be, but you’ll never truly know the person behind it all.

Some will criticise that I have been too honest with you, some will like that I have. But I am not all about the beauty, I like to talk about what is real, what is happening or things that have happened that I want to tell you guys about such as my trips to New York City. I want to attract those that can relate and allow me to follow and show my support back.

I love you guys!

Until next time x

Hi Everyone,

2014 is merely hours away and I should, in the not too distant future, start getting ready for tonight’s celebrations (a little do with friends) and I thought I should take some time, while I have it, to reflect on the year almost gone and look forward to what is to come.

2013 has been quite a simple year in many respects, where 2012 was busy and full of change (read My Graduate Experience for the full low down) where I thought I might have to reconsider my career plans, January 2013 dawned and change came with it. I finally found a company that saw through the lack of marketing/PR experience but saw what experience in other fields I did have and saw enough of my potential to take a chance and give me my first opportunity in communications. I will always, always hold them very highly for this.

So with my first marketing job underway, this year I have just chilled out a bit. I am someone that is always looking towards the next step, I have to know that what I am doing is contributing towards my development and I never just allow myself to live today, I am just too driven and ambitious. I am getting better but while I am still so young in my career, it’s important for me to make sure I am exposing myself to the right opportunities that will work for me down the line once I have established myself more and found an area of focus. So while this element of me hasn’t gone away, I have just enjoyed working, making a good home life for Ian (Boyfriend) and I, taken up playing hockey and on the whole just enjoyed myself. 2014 on the other hand, with a new job my career really will be my focus as this time next year I’ll either be unemployed as my contract has come to an end, or I’ll have been kept on and either will stay in the same position or move into a different role within the team, OR I may have decided that while I have enjoyed the year I feel it right that I move on elsewhere. Who knows! Its exciting but I know what that means as I know what I am like, I will be scrutinising everything I do within the role to determine my next move. I can’t change me unfortunately but I hope I keep this under control otherwise I’ll ruin the experience for myself.

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In other areas, Ian and I have recently opened a joint account in order to save for a deposit on a house (very grown up, eh?) so come the end of 2014 it would be great if we were in a position to buy our first house the year following or at least be almost there! We have been together 2.5 years now so as you can expect most of our friends and family are enquiring (some not very subtly) about the future (the ‘W’ word!) and although buying a house is our absolute priority, we have both openly admitted that we are each others forever (bit stupid buying a house if you haven’t discussed the future in more detail isn’t it?) so yes, at some point maybe next year, maybe the year after, we’ll or he rather, will make a step towards that too hopefully!

I touched briefly a moment ago about finding an area of focus in my career (as communications is very broad) and at the moment, I think I am definitely steering towards copywriting. I am currently undertaking a diploma in that field which is going well and certainly, depending upon the outcome but assuming it’s good, I would really like to do some freelance work on the side to get myself developed and established. With that in mind, as you know I now have three blogs, this one definitely my favourite and I must make these a focus to maintain next year. At the moment, I just upload when I can and don’t put too much effort into getting them circulated and attracting followers but this will change. In my new job I should learn how to make and edit videos which would be amazing as I think it would be really fun to do a vlog on here at some point in the year all being well, so, lovely Sweeties, do stay with me and I’ll aim to deliver! Also let me know if there is anything I have or do touch on that you would like me to delve a bit more deeper into, I will happily oblige (within reason of course).

So, to summarise some early identified ambitions and resolutions from my posts so far:

Try my very hardest and make the absolute most of my new job
Continue with hockey and continue to work on my personal health and fitness
Have fun with fashion and beauty (and blog about it!)
Save very hard for new house (& future with Ian)
Complete my copywriting diploma
Continue to make good choices
*Others to follow in this space

Right, I have gone on long enough (sorry) so I am off to run myself a lovely hot deep bath and see what Lush products I have that I could throw in to make it all the more lovely. I then need to wash and dry my hair (which takes ages as I have long, thick hair), then put on some glad rags of which I don’t actually know what they are yet (all the more reason to stop blabbering on), do my make-up -I thought I might try out one of the new eyeshadows I got in the set I got from Debenhams during my January Haul as they seemed quite sparkly and NYE appropriate! and then PARTY into 2014!!

So, with all that and the above in mind, may I take the opportunity to wish all my Sweeties a wonderful and happy New Year and let’s have an amazing 2014!

2014 Summary and Looking Ahead

Like this:

Overcoming Mental Health – Booking my First Trip with Trek America

Here goes.

So,

Like this:

Sweet 2014 Ambitions

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