life advice – Clairey Sweetie

As I wrote recently, February marked ten years living away from home, and so much has happened in that time. As I come to reflect on my twenties, it has taken this decade of my life to find what I want from life and from myself.

I can’t emphasise enough how important it is for people to try a variety of things, and why it’s okay if things don’t always work out right; just take a new direction.

As we have all come to realise, what we see of each other’s lives is mostly a highlight reel because we only show our successes. But failure, mistakes and wrong turns happen all the time.

Here are some of my personal experiences:

Why it’s okay if things don’t always work out right

Don’t be afraid to admit when something doesn’t feel right

There is such a pressure as you come to the end of school to know what you want to do, which frankly is ridiculous. It is good to have an idea of the direction you want to go in, but no one is going to land his or her perfect role straight away and to be honest, would you want to?

We work for like, 50+ years during our life, there is plenty of time to try a few things and still achieve expertise in an area once you find it.

I knew fairly soon after moving to London (in 2007) to pursue dental nursing, that I wasn’t going to remain a dental nurse for long after qualification, but I still stuck out my two years training so I at least got qualified and had something to fall back on.

For ages, I considered becoming a Hygiene Therapist, before thinking about becoming an actual dentist, before realising that even if I became either of those things, my interest in the media and communications would never truly disappear.

Therefore, I took a new path and went to university to study media communications – read my Graduate Experience.

I took my driving test five times

When I failed my driving test for the first time, I cried my eyes out and the weight of failure was heavy on my eighteen year-old shoulders. I had a dream at some point between maybe my third test and my fifth, that the examiner I would pass with was a woman with brown hair.

After failing my test for the fourth time, I took a break from tests and finally got the opportunity to practice driving outside of my two-hour weekly lessons (my Mum was a Saint!). Sat in the test center for the fifth time, when a female examiner with brown hair came down the stairs I knew I was going to pass my test that day.

The message here ultimately is that tests and exams can be retaken, so don’t stress if things don’t always go right on the first take.

Not every Interview will result in a job offer

Before graduating from university, I think I got every job I interviewed for, but there is a difference between full-time work and a weekend job for some extra pocket money.

As I explain in my Graduate Experience post, I had 10 interviews before getting my career in marketing and then a further three interviews and two job moves before finding somewhere I could settle for a while.

There are a hundred reasons why someone is turned down for a job, but not all of them are bad. Sometimes it is just fit, a person might be fabulous on paper, but the employer feels that in person, their personality does not quite fit with the rest of the office.

It’s annoying and disheartening, but it’s life and why it’s okay if things don’t always work out right. You don’t win every interview, but be assured that the right position is out there waiting for you.

Read my top five tips for how to nail an interview.

Mistakes make life

They do. Life never runs one course, decisions that do not go quite to plan so often actually turn out for the better on reflection, even if they seem like the world has ended at the time.

For example, in secondary school between years 9-11 I trained for the Ten Tors (it’s a walking expedition in Devon) so every other weekend I was out on the moors hiking miles and miles ready for the challenge in May.

Then, the training walk or two before the challenge, I had a random funny turn and ended up having to quit the walk, which was completely out of character. I was distraught.

Consequently, despite all my successful walks, this one practice expedition lost me my place in the team and I had to settle for first reserve instead, which to me was devastating.

However, the night before the Ten Tors event, I got the news that I was walking for another school who were missing a team member and I was DELIGHTED! And you know what, I had a much better time and experience walking with a totally new team.

To this day, I am still in contact with one of the guys I walked with, and for me, it just demonstrates how things have a funny way of working out for the better.

I hope you guys found some of this helpful and that you now know why it’s okay if things don’t always work out right.

What I’m wearing: Top – New Look; Bomber jacket – Very; Skirt – H&M; Boots -New Look; Choker – Choker Nation ; On my lips – Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lipstick in Vampira

Until next time x

As a young career woman building and navigating the highs and lows of my working life, I would have relished being given career advice that stretches beyond ‘find something you love doing’. I feel like I have spent so much energy enthusiastically going after a career I can be proud of, I am still never truly sure what I am doing/have done has been the right thing.

Nowadays, women can do anything in the world of work and yet, the first thing to get sacrificed is our career when it comes to having children and raising a family.

But also the messages say that career women are too focused, too ambitious, or it goes the other way and we are made to feel inadequate if we don’t have lots of career aspirations. I’ve only been around 29 years but here’s the career advice I would share with my (slightly) younger self as a young career woman.

It’s okay to spend your twenties exploring multiple roles and industries

It is no longer the norm to train in one thing and stick with it for the rest of your life like it was in the olden days. Nowadays, it’s encouraged to explore a few different roles and industries before you find what it is you’re good at/want to do.

As a young career woman, it’s also the norm to move on from one employer to the next every few years, particularly when you’re still building up your experience and network. But be sensible, show logic and focus in your journey rather than moving on for the sake of it or because you got bored. Do you have an interview coming up? Here’s my five tips on how to nail it.

It’s okay to complete as many or as little qualifications as you like

As a young career woman, at 29 years old, I have: 9 (expired) GCSE’s; 3 A-Levels; 2 NVQs in Business Administration; a Dental Nurse qualification (National exam); a Bachelors degree in Media Communications; and a diploma in Copy Writing.

I just don’t think I’ll ever really shake off the feeling that I was never considered good enough at school, so I’ve spent the years afterwards getting myself qualified in everything I’ve pursued. But it’s not essential, a qualification shows you can apply yourself to something, experience demonstrates you can put your learning into practice.

As a young career woman, your twenties are definitely for getting yourself qualified in whatever you want to do before time and financial commitments prevent you from having that freedom. Recently got your A-Level results? This post is for you!

It’s okay to be selfish

As a young career woman, no one else is going to give you an opportunity if you don’t put yourself forward/make yourself known, you need to think of number one (that’s you) and work out what it is you want and go and get it.

I know it’s difficult to make moves and things when you have a partner, or a mortgage etc. but where possible, don’t be afraid to move to a new location for your dream job, and it takes time to climb the salary ladder so be prepared to start low, but climb high. This day and age, you can do and be anything.

It’s okay to be intimidated by highly successful women

I don’t mean this negatively, when I read about successful women who have climbed to the top of the career ladder before I’ve even got out of bed in the morning is inspiring, but it’s also intimidating.

We have to champion our female leaders and those young women who have made a name for themselves in the business world, but it’s okay to be a little overwhelmed by them too.

I’ve worked my damnedest to get to where I am now and while for many that might not look significant, but if you’re familiar with my Graduate experience you’ll know how long it has taken me to find my footing.

You and I have probably worked as hard as those women we read about, but their journey has propelled them further, quicker, but that doesn’t make them better.

It’s okay to want a family

It’s amazing how in the 21st Century, women fundamentally still have to chose between being a mother, or having a career. I say fuck society and do both if you want to.

But it’s okay to choose motherhood and spend some time raising a family because that’s still a crucial role to play. I am at that point where having a family beckons on the horizon but so does my want to still do well and do more in my career first.

I also have concerns about what will happen to my job once I go on maternity leave; will it still be there several months on for me to take back or will I begin a frustrating period of life whereby I am punished for having a family? Who knows.

But from what I’ve been told, by both men and women, is that you can’t ever know what life will look like managing a family and trying to hold down a career. If you want children, have them, you’ll make it work and there’s no point delaying it because you’re worried about the what ifs.

Have your cake and eat it

Because you can.

What I am wearing: Shirt – Dorothy Perkins; black leggings – ASOS; Shoes – Dorothy Perkins; Bag – Fiorelli.

What career advice would you pass on to your younger self?