Hey Sweeties,

How are we all? Good weekend so far? …and Blogmas, going ok for those participating? To be honest I only just remembered I had to post today!

My Saturday’s throughout the autumn/winter months generally consist of hockey matches and you’ll know from a recent Sunday Chat post that I have joined a new team following moving house. I think so far though I have only been available to play 4 or so matches with Windsor so far this year owing to weekend availability so I am only now in the midst of really getting stuck in with them. As a forward/striker/attacker (aka, one of usually three players that remains up near goal during the game), I really feel the pressure when I don’t actually score and this week I could really feel myself getting stressed about it. More than anything it’s the feeling of wanting to prove yourself in front of a new team. To be honest though, and any person that plays team based sports will know that fundamentally sometimes its of no fault of your own, it’s often the opportunity just doesn’t present itself. It can also be incredibly frustrating when players that play lower down the field get a good run up the pitch and manage to get the ball in the net when you’ve been up there poised for ages, but that’s just how it is sometimes.

So today you’ll be delighted to know that I finally scored my debut goal for Windsor! Absolutely thrilled and just the confidence boost I need!!

This being only my second season back playing hockey, I still have so much to learn and although training teaches you ball and stick techniques and various other skills and methods vital for playing hockey, you don’t actually get taught any of the rules. So although it is incredibly daunting to be involved in matches when you still haven’t quite found your confidence, out on the pitch during play is when you pick up the real core elements of the game. Mistakes can only be expected but like I said, when you’re still finding your confidence with both yourself as a player and as a member of a team of people you don’t know that well, it’s tricky. But the more games you play, the more you learn and pick up and your confidence builds gradually from there.

Hockey really is just something I have found in my life that I just love. I can’t really explain it exactly but I do so enjoy myself and it’s a brilliant stress reliever (as I am sure I have spoken about before) so when I battle insecurity over performing well (even during training), I can get easily upset and doubt myself which really isn’t fun and to be honest, completely unnecessary. If I played professionally and didn’t score then we’d have problems, but right now, although it’s competitive above all it’s fun… exactly how it should be!

Right, I’m off now to have a long hot shower to warm up as I have only just got back from the match (where it was so cold the pitch was still partly frozen) and then I am going to have a large glass of wine and a cosy night in with Ian and Lola.

Delighted at my debut goal!

Until tomorrow x